If you’re here because you’re struggling with low self esteem, I want you to know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, and YOU ARE MADE BY GOD’S HANDS. Be proud of who you are.
Self Esteem is a crucial component of our mental and emotional well-being. It can dictate how we see ourselves and others, and even how we interact with the world around us. In this post I’ll go over the various ways that you can build your self esteem and see yourself in a more positive light, so you can live a happier, healthier life.
TIPS TO IMPROVE SELF ESTEEM:
There are many things you can do to improve your self esteem, but I’m going to give you three tips in this post that are sure to help!
Consider downloading “I am” in your app store, too. It sends daily affirmations (however many you select) to your phone to constantly remind you of your worth. [I am not making money from the app, I just enjoy using it and find it beneficial.]
Don’t have the time to read this right now? Save it for later so you can come back to it!
Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations:
Something I’ve started trying in my journey of self love and growth is positive affirmations. To be honest, when I was younger and heard people talk about using positive affirmations I found it to be a little silly. I didn’t understand just how powerful they can be sometimes when you struggle with poor self esteem.
Here are some examples that I have used (and some I haven’t, but found in a post by The Good Trade). Feel free to use these for yourself, writing them on a mirror in dry erase or maybe just saying them to yourself in the mornings. You could also write them on sticky notes and leave them around, maybe on your door so you can see it before you leave, or even on your ceiling to read while you lay down for bed.
- I am worthy of love.
- I am enough.
- I am beautiful, inside and out.
- I am strong enough to overcome this.
- I alone hold the truth of who I am. -The Good Trade
- I am allowed to feel good. -The Good Trade
- I am good and getting better. – The Good Trade
- I love who I am because God loves who I am.
- I want to love what God loves and see what He sees.
- Women come in all shapes and sizes.
- I can control my thoughts and feelings – I love myself and am happy.
- I am proud of who I’ve become.
My favorite affirmation:
The one affirmation I use time and time again is number 8: I love who I am because God loves who I am. Sometimes this affirmation may change slightly to better fit how I feel that day, for example: I will love who I am because God loves me or He made me how He wanted me, and His work is beautiful. Sometimes the affirmations may need to change to better suit how you feel one day compared to the next, because you’ll need to talk to yourself a little differently.
I know that sometimes we have unkind thoughts about ourselves. It can be very easy to listen to ourselves, no matter how untrue our thoughts may be. You have to be careful not to do this, and to instead tell yourself positive things and choose to believe those instead. Say them louder than that harmful voice in your head.
If you heard someone say, “I am not worthy of love and I deserve to feel this pain”, what would you tell them? If you knew you loved them, and you knew they were loved by many, what would you say? Sometimes you may need to try talking to yourself as if you’re talking to a friend. Try pretending that you’re talking to someone else, and think about how you’d let them know they ARE worthy, and that they DO DESERVE happiness.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others:
Have you ever been in public when you notice someone you find to be the epitome of perfection, and you compare yourself to them and tell yourself everything you think is better about them compared to you? “They have healthier hair, they have better skin, they have prettier eyes,” or “They’re taller than me, they’re stronger than me,” etc.? This is a prime example of a self esteem killer.
Gauh, if I’ve done it once I’ve done it a million times, but you CAN’T do it! Don’t do that shit to yourself, because let me tell you, they aren’t any better than you! If you do it once, it’ll get easier and easier to do it again and again, and before you realize it, you’ll be comparing yourself to literally everyone and left feeling empty and like shit. You don’t want to feel like shit, do you babe? No, you don’t.
Maybe now you’re thinking, “I’ve tried to quit comparing myself to others, but I can’t seem to stop” – well, in this case, I have an exercise for you to try!
Try this instead:
The next time you become aware that you’re comparing yourself to someone else, stop for a moment and then reword what you say. Maybe instead of, “Her curly hair is prettier than mine, I wish I had curly hair like that,” you can say, “I like her curly hair. I think I’ll try styling mine more like that sometime to see how I like it on myself.” Let the situation inspire you to try something new, and do it without putting yourself down. “He’s so much stronger than me,” – turn that into – “I think I’ll start going to the gym some more”, and go workout!
Maybe you see someone with clear skin and you feel envy and wish you could have clear skin, too. Instead of thinking of yourself as ugly and thinking your skin isn’t as beautiful, you can again turn that into inspiration to improve yourself. Do you struggle with acne? Look up skin care routines to help with that, or even ask the person you see with clear skin for their routine. You don’t have to compare yourself and be mean, just acknowledge your differences and be proud of who you are, taking inspiration from time to time.
Let yourself be inspired.
If you notice something about someone else that you like, let them inspire you to grow into the person you want to be. Do you want longer, shinier hair? Consult a salon for tips, or do your research for products that can help you achieve that goal. Want to have a more athletic body? Go to the gym, or even look into hiring a personal trainer. My point is – just be nice to yourself and make sure you love yourself naturally. Don’t go out and do those things because you hate who you are and how you look; do them because you were inspired, and you’d like to try something new.
Fake It ‘Till You Make It:
When I was younger and I’d hear someone say, “Fake it ‘till you make it”, I always disregarded it. I’d hear it so much that it wouldn’t really have meaning to me, and I wasn’t aware of how I’d even begin to try it if it did. I can say with complete seriousness now though, faking it until you make it is a real game changer. Take it even further – fake it until you become it. Be confident, but don’t be cocky or arrogant.
I started a job as a bank teller back in 2020, and we didn’t get trained the best, if at all. I struggled (and so did the other woman who was hired with me) to get a grasp of how things went and how to be in certain situations. I’d often see the other teller (she’d been there a year longer) handling things well, and I’d often frown from frustration as I tried my best to get something figured out for a customer.
Faking self-confidence works!
As time passed, I began to notice that the “more experienced” teller had just as much trouble as I did, and even struggled more than me in some areas. So why did she always seem to do better, even though she didn’t know everything I thought she did? I spoke to her one day about it after hearing her say, “I don’t know, I just work here,” when I’d come up to her with a question on how to do something.
I asked her how she seemed so confident and she seemed to know what to do even if she wasn’t trained in that area, and she told me she faked it, pretending to know what needed to be done, and eventually the confidence started to come naturally and the answers were easier to find. She said she’d pretend to be confident instead of stressing about it, and the confidence started to be real. That’s all it was about – confidence.
How i started using this tip
So, after that conversation, I started doing the exact same thing – faking it. Pretending I knew what I was doing and what was going on, and I felt a lot less stressed and it gave me a serious self esteem boost. I began communicating better with customers and thinking clearer, since the stress wasn’t there. I began having an easier time communicating my questions and concerns and figuring out the answers for problems. It began to come naturally, and when I didn’t know what to do, I was able to stay professional when asking for assistance, and I didn’t look like a lost pup.
For example, if I didn’t know something, I’d say, “Great question. I’m not sure what the answer is. If you don’t mind, give me just a moment to ask my supervisor.” I would say that instead of standing there, red faced, stuttering over my words. I wouldn’t panic, I’d just let the customer know I wasn’t sure of the answer, but I was going to find out. Nine times out of ten, the customer understood and was patient. There are people though, *cough* KAREN, who will give you hell even when you know exactly what you’re doing. You’ll just have to grow some thicker skin for those people.
It’s a real game changer!
Faking confidence and pretending you belong somewhere and know what you’re doing can help so much with poor self esteem, it’s unreal. I’d never expected to become that person, but it really is a game changer. My job became so much easier and went so much smoother when I adopted the confident mindset, and the longer I’d pretend, the more it began to come naturally and it became real. I became confident in my ability to help people, and I felt confident in my position.
This can work with anything, in my opinion. Feel self conscious and don’t know how to become less awkward? Fake it, babe! Get out there and pretend you own the place, pretend you know you’re hot shit, and get to feeling good about yourself. Pretend to be confident in yourself, and it will begin to grow real confidence in you! Start to walk the walk and you’ll fall right into stride with where you need to be.
It isn’t always easy, I’ll admit. But, it’s a great thing to try here and there.
