Forgiveness is such a powerful tool that we can use to move forward, and an important piece to personal growth. If you’re on a personal growth journey, then forgiveness is a great place to visit. Forgiveness opens you up for love, compassion, and empathy. By reflecting on our past and processing our emotions, we can foster empathy and compassion for others, paving the way for a more forgiving and peaceful mindset.
It sadly took me several years to understand just how important forgiveness was. Had I not been hurt so severely, I wouldn’t have had the clarity and ability to see forgiveness for what it is: freedom. I spent years under extreme stress, unable to move on from the past. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, had dreams of what happened, and awoke in anger and pain just to do it all over again. My days were long and painful, all because I refused to forgive.
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Why did I finally decide to do it?
While it was no easy task, and definitely not enjoyable in the beginning, I knew I needed to do it. I had to do it; the hate and pain was tearing me apart. I couldn’t stand the person I had become. Something had to change, and the only way to get there was through forgiveness.
I finally reached a group of Christian individuals online, and as I explained my situation in extreme detail (crying the whole time), I was able to get some good advice. After years of this agony, I had the answer – the key – to true forgiveness. I thought I had forgiven this person multiple times already and yet the pain continued to haunt me. But now? I truly had the answer.
Though you may not like what I’m about to say, you cannot deny the success rate for it, and you shouldn’t knock it until you’ve attempted it yourself. Just two days after doing it, I felt immense weight lifted off of me. I felt free. No more did the events haunt me, and no more did they torture me throughout my days and nights. Do you want to know how to find true forgiveness?
PRAY.
Pray for your enemy.
You don’t have to be specific, just pray to God that they find what they need, or pray they find understanding. Pray they realize the pain they’ve caused, and repent for it. Pray they finally start showing signs of remorse. You can pray for them to find God in their hearts. Just pray.
Matthew 6:14-15 in the Bible says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Journal Prompts for Forgiveness
FORGIVING OTHERS
- What does forgiving someone look like to me?
- Why is forgiveness important to me?
- Why do I want to forgive?
- Who do I want to forgive? What’s the situation?
- Is the person I want to forgive important to me?
- How is holding onto this pain affecting me?
- Have I always struggled with forgiveness, or is this the first situation?
- How is holding onto this pain affecting them?
- How will I feel after I forgive them?
- How can I use forgiveness to practice mindfulness?
- Do I need to be forgiven in return?
- Why is forgiving hard for me?
- Is forgiveness unfair? Explain.
- Is forgiving the same as forgetting?
- Is it important to let someone know you have forgiven them? Why or why not?
SELF FORGIVENESS
- What do I need to forgive myself for?
- How will I start focusing on the present, instead of ruminating on the past?
- Did I accept responsibility for my actions?
- What are 3 ways I can move forward from this mistake?
- How can I practice self-love?
- How have I grown and changed since the mistake?
- What do I have to work on to be a better person?
- Why am I struggling to forgive myself?
- How can I be kinder to myself?
- If I could hurt the person who hurt me, would I? Why or why not?
- What would it feel like if I forgave myself?
- Have I ever asked for forgiveness?
UNDERSTAND FORGIVENESS
- When I sit still for a few minutes in silence after remembering the pain, what thoughts/feelings come to me?
- Is it easy for me to forgive?
- How could gratitude help connect me to forgiveness?
- What are the benefits to forgiving people?
- When have I forgiven people in the past?
- How can joy help me lean more into forgiving?
- What are 3 reasons to ALWAYS forgive?
- Are apologies required for forgiveness?
- Do I agree with what the Bible says about forgiveness? (See verse at beginning of post.)
- Am I hurting them more by not forgiving them?
- Will I be affected negatively if I don’t forgive them?
What are the benefits to forgiving?
When you choose to forgive someone, you choose love and compassion over hate and grudges. You choose peace. Harboring grudges and hate can be extremely destructive to our emotional and mental well-being, so forgiveness is key.
Choosing forgiveness over hate can give you:
- Improved mental health,
- Improved self-esteem,
- Healthier relationships,
- Improved heart health,
- Days full of peace,
- Less anxiety,
- No more wasted time on remembering the pain,
- More productivity,
- The availability for healing,
- Clearer mind, and more.
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